Dear Family and Friends,
I am low-key, slightly, and embarrassingly, obsessed with socks. There are some people who have a variety of colorful, creative, and artistic socks. I’m not one of them. I buy the pack of socks that come 9 to a bag from Target. I have 28 pairs of white socks and 2 pairs of colorful socks. And somehow, unknown to the laws of the universe, after I wash laundry there are always 4 white socks that don’t match up with one another. It irks me to death because it makes no- and I truly mean it- it makes absolutely no sense why I end up with so many unpaired white socks.
My earring collection is different. There is way more variety and some of the earrings represent places that I traveled to or the special occasions I bought them for. It takes a long time for one or both of the earrings to go missing. What usually happens is that I place both earring in a purse or my backpack because I intend to put them on once I get to my destination. I forget to put the earring on, and then one of the earrings clandestinely sneaks out of my bag- never to be seen again.
Or, I step on the earring. That’s all I’m going to say about that.
Recently I lost one of my favorite earrings. It’s a big hoop earring, wrapped in ankara fabric, that I bought from my friend’s business. This time, the way I lost the earring made no sense. I took the earring off while I was sitting my car. I watched it fall in-between the seat and armrest. I reached down to get it and then it was gone. POOF! It was nowhere to be found when I went to retrieve it beyond the blind search with my fingers. I searched high and low and the earring just vanished. There are enough things that happen throughout the day that make me question my sanity, but this was the last straw. I saw it fall. And then it was gone. I searched for the earring on different days. I just couldn’t find it.
Then, one day I went outside to move my car so my roommate and I can switch places. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that the earring rolled (or was placed) next to a pole and safely tucked away from the disastrous fate that would have surely ensued if my earring had become acquainted with a tire.
In honor of my two favorite collections, I’m re-claiming lonely socks and hoop earrings this month.
Lonely socks and hoop earring are the things that add value to our lives- in a small way when they are present- but they leave a palpable deficiency in their absence.
Lonely socks are the things we take for granted. I was watching ‘Dear White People’ and there is a scene where the main character reflects on how she felt she rejected her dad. There was no animosity between the two of them, but she felt that her actions towards barred him from filling a more significant and present role in her life. While there was clearly love between the two of them, she underappreciated him like a dependable, plain, white sock.
A couple of ‘lonely socks’ I’ve been thinking about recently are the undefinable unfolding of situations and relationships: people who taken a blind first chance on me, the times I’ve been given a second (or many more) chances, and what I learn about myself as I grow through conflicts. I’ve been thinking about ‘what if’ I had pursued a different path or those other aforementioned situations didn’t pan out the way they did.
Let’s say the missing white sock represent the ‘what if’ possibility. For instance, say you went camping and lost one sock somewhere at the campsite and the lonely sock came home with you (which has happened to me). But, what if you stayed at the campsite with the ‘lost’ sock and never went home with the ‘lonely’ sock. Your life would be really different, right?! By now you will be able to run with a pack of wolves, sing with the bluejays and know which berries will give you diarrhea. Oh, the limitless possibilities of the ‘what if’ scenario. Instead, you went home with only one lonely, plain, white, sock.
Hoop earings are the things that make you stop and re-evaluate what you have and don’t have. Do you ever feel like you are more concerned about what other people have? Or more specifically, what another person has that you don’t. I’ll just pause right here so you can evaluate your life as I sip my tea.
Even though my earring was lost for about a month, I kept the other one in hopes that it’s pair would just show-up. And it did. It was returned back to me whole and complete. I just have this unyielding belief that the universe will return everything back to you. Not everything comes back exactly as you sent it out; my earring was dirtier and a little bent out of shape. Not everything comes back to you immediately, but everything you put out into the world will eventually be returned to you.
Hoop earrings are symbolic of the things we knowingly/ unknowingly, willingly/ unwillingly put out into the world. I saw one of my old nurse preceptors recently. She said one of the things she remembers most about me was a story I told about my family trying out for ‘Family Feud’. Of all the things to remember about me, she chose… *shrugs shoulders* Everything you put out into the world will eventually be returned to you.
Hoop earrings are what we value. Hoop earrings are what we will search the ends of the Earth for. They are the things what we hold out a little bit of hope for when it seems as if it is all is lost. Hoop earrings represent your not so obvious loves, desires, dreams, and hopes.
Alright, Im done. I love hearing from you! Let me know what your one sock and hoop earrings are. Also, all of my old letters are here at: fearwaslastseason.wordpress.com