Hello Friends and Family,
Do you ever have the feeling that you don’t belong in your own life? That feeling that the grass is greener elsewhere and you deserve that life. Or, maybe you’re in a position where you don’t feel confident that you are the most capable person for that role.
“You are exactly where you need to be. Each and everyone of you.” My professor Pam B. would start each class with a pep talk, a huge smile, and wide eyes. She would look deeply into each of us. And for 2.36 seconds, I would believe her. And then I would look at her side-eyed because I convinced myself that her words didn’t apply to me. Maybe those words were true for my classmates. Maybe those words were true for 2.36 seconds. Despite being admitted into one of the most prestigious nursing schools in the nation (#4 in the country according to USA Today), I still struggle(d) with the idea that I actually belonging here.
Facebook reminds me of all of things that my friends are doing with their lives. You know, the grown up things: getting married, having babies, getting promotions, traveling the world, buying cars, buying homes, planning for retirement. I surmised that there has been a fork in the road and I chose the “delayed adulthood” path. I’m still volunteering all of my time and I make no money. (Donations gladly accepted.) I wouldn’t have a bed to sleep on (or a phone to use, or a car to drive) if my parents didn’t buy it. A few pieces of my furniture literally came off the street (I do live in San Francisco, so that is perfectly normal). My excuse for missing all of the “late-twenties-milestones” is that I’m in school. I question if this is exactly where I need to be in life.
(Random quote: Enough is not a quantity. It is a relationship to what you already have and who you already are.)
I don’t know if this is where I “need” to be, but I know that this is where I am. I’m not working now, but I’m in school so I can have a career that I will love for the rest of my life. I have a bed to sleep on, a phone to use, a car to drive, furniture to use, and a place to store all of that stuff with running water and working electricity. I don’t know if this is where I “need” to be, but I know that it really isn’t the worst place to be.
I was having lunch with my friend Lauren the other day. (That was a lie. We were having snacks because we only had $12 on us and couldn’t afford an entree.) Anyways, I was having “lunch” with Lauren and I mentioned that I thought my iPod was broken and I was probably going to have to buy a new one. She did some magic and it was fixed like new. It wasn’t real magic, it was a trick that she had learned to reset the iPod. She may not have thought much about it, but to me, she was the right person at the right time. Pam B would have looked at her, smiled, and said, “You are exactly where you need to be.”
I’m sure you can think of a time where you had a problem, but you didn’t actively seek help for it. Then one day, the right person with the right skills and knowledge came along and solved your problem. They might not have thought much about it, but it made a difference to you.
Vice versa, you have been the difference in someone elses life. You may not have known it at the time, but you were the right person at the right time with all the necessary information and skills. You are the difference.
“You are exactly where you need to be. Each and everyone of you.” It might not feel comfortable. It might not feel perfect. It might not feel complete. But it is true.
How do I know this? I wouldn’t be wasting my time writing to you if you weren’t doing something positive with your life (I you made it to my email list). I truly don’t believe that this message would have found you if you weren’t exactly where you need to be.
(Random Quote: There are two great days in a persons life: the day we are born and the day we discover why.)
I’d love to hear your thoughts!